Chasing Reflection

Fireworks test rounds are popping into view as the almost-spent year 2024 slowly says goodbye. Before I part with it and welcome the new year, 2025, I want to reflect, because, unlike most previous years, this one felt very important to me. I thought the previous year was to be the year of transformation, learning, and all in all “the year,” but in retrospect, it only felt like a test year or a preparation for the journey ahead.

And that journey isn’t over—far from it.

Last year, I started learning a lot of new things. I wanted to broaden my knowledge, experience more of life, and meet more—and more importantly, different—people. And I did. Things started looking pretty good, and I charged into the year 2024 with fervor. But it didn’t last very long. After two years of not progressing anywhere in my career, I started feeling stuck in place. I decided there, in January of this year, that I would quit not only my current job but the industry altogether.

I wasn’t yet sure of where to go next or what to do, but there was something else lacking in my life. And sometimes, to realize what you are missing, you have to get away from the comforts of home and go elsewhere.

At the time, I was still employed, but I took a huge part of my vacation time and traveled to Spain to study the basics of the Spanish language and escape the reality of my everyday life, which had become dull and uninteresting.

I chose Valencia, the city I had visited the year prior to reconnect with one of my childhood friends. Since I had never experienced student exchange programs of any sort, I decided to live in a shared apartment with other students to get a feel for what it might have been like. That turned out to be a great decision. My apartment mates were mostly Italians—three lovely ladies from Abruzzo, a young student from a small village not 30 minutes from Venice, and another student from Germany.

Maybe I’ll write about the whole two weeks another time. For now, the important thing is that right there, I strengthened my inner resolve to quit. But I also promised myself to expand into other areas of my life, to pursue my long-lost dreams, and not to compromise on truly living.

I came back and quit three months later, in August. I was severely depressed and drained from the job, my sleep was unstable, but once I quit, I felt immediate relief. All the burdens of that place vanished, and I felt free. I was unemployed now, but free to think, to choose, and to decide in peace and without any external or internal pressure what to do next.

I booked another flight to Spain. This time, I wanted to travel through Andalusia. Once again, I won’t go into much detail, but the trip was great. I felt light, even when my legs were giving out a little after so much walking every day. I ate and tasted much of the local food, listened to music, watched dances, and shared moments and drinks with travelers and locals alike. I was awed seeing grand monuments of history in all of those beautiful places—Sevilla, Córdoba, Granada, and Málaga. And I wanted to see other cities and places in Andalusia. Next time, I will. The time had come to return home.

My mind was plagued by thoughts of staying, never leaving, or never coming back and just keeping on traveling. Oh, that would be an escape. But not a solution—not for me. I started once again learning new skills, attending a bootcamp in programming to see whether that might be something for me, to see if I liked it or not.

In the final months of this year, I re-read a book that felt like a reflection of this year: The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. I rewatched some of my favorite movies—all of that just to fill myself with confidence in the decision that has now long been made.

Now, as the fireworks keep hitting the sky, and although I am a little sick with a cold (hence writing the blog post and not pregaming like most of the city’s party people), I am ready to grasp what 2025 has in store for me with the full force of my will.

I hope you will have a wonderful next year, and whether you want to start something, there’s no need to wait for the new year and come up with a resolution. Look inward and just ask yourself: “Am I happy? Am I satisfied? What do I want to do next?” Then listen closely, and your heart will tell you.